Monday, September 5, 2011
The Stay at Home Mum.
'Oh,' I answered with a smile, 'I'm a Mum'
'Yes, I know that' said the acquaintance, 'But what is it that you do?'
I was baffled. I thought I had answered the question perfectly well the first time. I am a Mum.
I had never actually planned to become a Stay at home Mother. It just sort of happened. Admittedly my career aspirations weren't overly high to start with. All I really wanted to do was to write stories and maybe get married and have children.
It wasn't long however before the having children aspect took over every other longing I've ever really had......and I couldn't of been happier.
I can't say I'm one of those people that have had trouble taking to Motherhood....I guess my years of bossing around my younger sisters and cousins had set me up well for the changes. I also had my first child fairly young (23) so for the past 9 years it's all I have really done.
Mothered. Mothering. Motherhood.
Sometimes I feel sorry for Husband. He works very long hours to provide for us all. Sometimes I feel that maybe I 'should' be working to help him out a little. So the pressure is off just a bit.
Every time we discuss the possibility it is dismissed rather quickly. Juggling four children and work would be a hard task for anyone (and I applaud those that do it) I have enough trouble juggling four children, the housework, the taxiing around and any other extra-curricular activities. Admittedly I do a 'little' bit of work for Hubby at home but this only adds up to a couple of hours a week so it really can't be conceived as work as such.
So, the assumption that I sit around watching Oprah and drinking tea is a myth. Although I do drink a fair amount of tea, I haven't watched daytime television since I was pregnant with baby#1. I simply don't have the time....or the inclination.
There is the morning chaos getting ready and the school run. The typically four loads of washing a day-hanging out-bringing in- and adding to the pile that is Mt Koziwashko (which occasionally I may even fold). The breakfast dishes. The vacuuming (and yes, this needs to be done daily) Miss TT needs snacks, cuddles, attention and games. Food is baked. Bedrooms are tidied. Bathrooms are cleaned, the toilet needs doing each day (boys and wee...eeewww!) Sweeping, mopping and general putting away. After the next round of school pickups, followed by sport, it is homework, dinner to cook, baths, dinner, dishes, teeth, hair, stories, bed and then all the cleaning up to do once they are all asleep.
And I write. Yes, I do spend typically an hour a day (while Miss TT naps) writing. I write on here and I write other things, my stories, things for my husbands work. Whatever I feel like really.
The thought of navigating the minefield that is Child Care, the cost of having four children attend, (diabolical!) and the guilt I think I would feel leaving my babies is simply not worth it - and once I pay all the fees, it would barely make much of a difference anyway.
I may sound like I'm justifying my decision. My choice to be a full-time Mum...and maybe I am. Society has such expectations for Mothers nowadays....we are supposed to 'have it all'. But frankly my dear, I don't give a damn what 'society' says.
I'm doing what it is that I've always wanted to do....and that's to be the best Mother I possibly can be to my four children.........Because if I screw this up nothing else I do will matter much.
Footnote; This is in no way meant to be a dig at working parents. I think people who manage their families and work are inspirational. It just doesn't work for our family and our situation.