Honesty Is The Best Policy!

It is my theory that all babies are born with an honesty gene. This gene remains dormant during infant hood and then rears it's ugly head at around the age of 3, peaking at 5 and then generally diminishing after the age of 8...until around 10, when children become masters of tact and 'the little white lie'

So, if my theory is correct, Mr 5 should currently be in the throes of brutal honesty........which he is.......let me demonstrate;

This morning, after returning from my usual run I vanished into the shower for a few moments of quiet and blistering heat. Mr 5 followed me and moments later was joining me in the shower with an array of his favourite super hero dudes...honestly, I would much prefer to shower without Batman looking on...thank you very much.

I tried to ignore his boisterous game in such a confined space and went about washing my hair as usual.

It was then that I felt a sharp poke on my bottom cheek.....
'Mum' said Mr 5 cheerfully "Mum, did you know your butt wobbles when I poke it? Did ya know that Mum? Watch Mum and I'll show you...look!'

Poke, Poke....Wobble, Wobble.

'Thanks for that mate' I muttered as I extricated myself from the shower cubicle. Yes, I did know my butt wobbled and no, I didn't need the demonstration as proof.

I swear if I listened to everything my children said I would have the worlds biggest complex;

There was the time - shortly after Mr 5 was born and Miss 8 had just started her 'honesty phase'  - that we were in a change room together. I was trying on a dress for an upcoming wedding and was having trouble finding something that didn't enhance my very obvious mummy tummy. 'Mum!' shrieked Miss 3 (at the time) 'You have the fattest tummy ever! Look it's all blobby!' Unfortunately all the nearest holes to crawl into and die were already full of other mortified Mothers out shopping with their honest children.

'Oh good girl Mummy' said she of the loudest voice in history - when we were in a public toilet together one day,  'You did three big poos!'
Needless to say we hid in that cubicle until all the other patrons had left.....it took quite a while.

Unfortunately Hubby is rarely the one 'copping it' in the honesty stakes. And when he does the children are quite complimentary; like the time we were at a friend's BBQ and Mr 5 announced to everyone 'My Daddy has a big penis'.

'That's my boy' said Hubby proudly.

My advice to anyone about to enter this brutal...but very entertaining stage.... is to lie low for a while. Avoid confined spaces where children can look at you under a microscope. Avoid public places where they can blurt to the world about all of your faults. Avoid any situation that may bring you embarrassment and ridicule....or you can develop tough skin, laugh it off and enjoy this funny, delightful and very truthful age.....just like I did.