Sunday, July 24, 2011

Return of Vesuvius

Occasionally my skin goes through stages where it forgets I'm in my 30's and still mistakes me for a pubescent teenager. I will be rewarded with spots of varying shapes and sizes competing for space with the 'gorgeous' wrinkles I have establishing themselves all over the place.   It's a conundrum I find incredibly unfair. As far as I'm concerned as soon as wrinkles start to rear their ugly heads, zits should become obsolete. It's certainly an injustice that I should suffer from both at the same time.

So, the other day when a very large, very visible and very angry spot set up camp on a prominent area of my face I felt slightly disgruntled.

It was one of those monstrous lumps, pulsating ominously right in the middle of my face, waiting to erupt just like Vesuvius. My skin was stretched tightly over it's bulbous head and my hand kept creeping tentatively toward it - just to check if it was as gigantic as it looked.

The damn thing was so enormous it nearly needed it own postcode for Pete's sake.

Every time I passed a mirror I half expected it to start conversing with me. I wonder what kind of conversation a zit could possibly have with it's 'carrier'?
Zit - 'Hi, how are you going?'
Me- 'Oh, really well thank you'
Zit- 'Hope you don't mind me moving in for a couple of days'
Me-'Not at all, not at all.....make yourself at home'
Zit- "Well, if you insist'

Hubby of course, finds it all hilarious.

'Here's a cup of tea darling, does your 'little' friend want one too?'

'Hope you've set an extra place at the table for that thing'

'Honey, I'm sleeping on the couch tonight, I don't think I'll be able to fit into bed with you and your new buddy'

Ha, Ha, Frigging Ha is all I can say.

Luckily his skin is as prone to volcanic eruptions as mine so it's only a matter of time before he has a 'special friend' of his own, then I can get my own back.

But until then my latest friendship is finally coming to a slow and torturous end. It's deflating, finally flattening, dying a lingering death. Despite my obvious 'attachment' to the thing I'm relieved that I can once again show my face in public without taking someones eye out....until next time that is.


  1. Oh Lene! That's just hilarious! You poor thing! I still get them too, at 47! All part of being a woman I guess!

    Anne xx

  2. It's sooooo frustrating isn't it Anne? I was really hoping it would be all done and dusted at this stage of my life, oh well!

  3. I'm 27 and I get them too. It is so frustrating!


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