Sick of Sickness

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By the time Spring dances along, flicking her sunshiny hair and flipping her pretty floral skirts; you kind of expect that illness is done and dusted for the year. With the warmer weather finally approaching I began to anticipate months of outdoors, sunshine and good health....and then it happened....the family was once again king hit by the flu.

This morning when we awoke to start another week, two of our members were out for the count, comatose, immobile.

Now, certain people in this household react in different ways to illness....as you would well expect......

Hubby, of course, suffers as only a male could possibly suffer. The world is ending. There is disaster and impending doom. No one in the history of mankind has ever been so sick before. He is dying.... do you think you should ring the doctor....or an ambulance? If he has to do anything that requires any sort of effort it is with an air of martyrdom.

When Mr 11 is sick he is properly sick. He will lie in bed all day and barely move. Occasionally he will have a little cry or just need a hug but otherwise he will sleep and read like all good sick children should.

Miss 8 moans. She whinges and demands. She needs a cup of tea, a glass of lemonade, a sandwich. "Mum, I feel like soup' she'll cry. "Mum, I need a tissue', 'Mum I want an apple' It seems that being sick also temporarily removes her ability to use her manners.

Mr 5 is amazingly stoic while unwell. He will occasionally tell me his head hurts and will have a bit of a lie down, but other than that he will be a quieter version of his normal self. He still wants me to play endless games with him so it doesn't dampen his spirits in the slightest.

Miss 2 remains at her tornado best despite whatever illness is handed out to her. She'll continue to create mayhem and ransack the house even with raging temps and a rotten headache.  When sick she is still a spirited and busy toddler....just an unbelievably snotty one.

I don't do sick. And when I do occasionally fall prey to the dreaded lurgy I do so badly. So if you cop a whinge from me when unwell I apologise....I don't have time to be sick.

As you could probably predict the two members of the household who were run down by this calamity were quite possibly the two who are the worst to have stuck at home all day demanding things (Hubby and Miss 8)  All I hope is for a speedy recovery so I can regain my sanity. And most of all face masks for the rest of us so we don't catch it too!

My Mumma Business Card.

Hubby often comes home with his pockets full of a plethora of business cards. I get to peruse these on a regular basis as I usually have to empty them out before they go through the wash and ruin yet another load of washing.

Most of these cards have fairly standard job descriptions; like Dental Surgeon or Solicitor or Plumber. Others are a little more interesting. For instance I recently came across one that said 'Sandwich Artist', there has also been a 'Brain Trainer' (read; Hypnotist) and also one that called themselves a 'Refuse Collection Operative'.....in other words a Garbage Collector.

So, it got me thinking (never a good thing as we all know) about what my job description would be. If I had to come up with a fancy pants business card what would I call myself?

I started with writing a list of all my individual 'jobs' and decided to go from there.

Administrator of Sympathy - eg; Kisses, Cuddles and Kind Words.

Director of Routine - Get up, make your bed, have breakfast, clean your teeth, get dressed, brush your hair..etc...etc.

Nutrition Management - Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and all those little snackies in between. Coercing children into eating their greens. Talent at hiding vegetables in pasta sauces. Creative-on your toes-meal artist.

Negotiator of Conflict - 'You've hurt your brother, now say sorry', 'I don't care who had it first', 'No you can't have a chocolate before dinner'

Hygiene Specialist-  'Stop picking your nose', 'Wash you hands after the loo', 'Dirt is not a food group', 'Letting the dog lick your face is disgusting!' Must be able to toilet train small people. Supervision in the bath is a must.

Dental Technician - Supervising the teeth cleaning process. Some members of the family simply like to lick the toothpaste off the toothbrush. Or if you're Miss 8, run the tap and make scrubbing noises without actually putting the toothbrush in your mouth (not realising Mum is watching from the doorway)

Hair Stylist - Gel spikes for the boys, ponytails and braids for the girls. Requires a certain amount of speed and dexterity.

Teacher - Homework, homework and a bit more homework. The joy of school children.

Psychic-  Able to read minds of children and predict what they will need/want next.

Domestic Engineer - I really don't need to explain this one...but I will. Mess...everywhere. Constant vacuuming, dusting, mopping, toilet cleaning (Ugh - boys and toilets...need I say more?) washing (wash, hang out, bring in, fold, put away) Scraping food off surfaces, dishes, making of beds, falling over toys....the list goes on and on.

Safety Expert - Jumping out of the bath onto the tiles is not safe (the cause of Mr 5's latest bump) nor is; scaling the screen door, riding a skateboard down our very steep driveway, pushing your little sister off Mum & Dad's bed, Wrestling on the coffee table, Eating dog food or throwing a matchbox car at your brothers head.

Imagination Stimulator - Creating ideas for games, providing paints, crayons, textas and paper. Encouraging the wacky, crazy and zany. 'Yes, let's pretend to fly to the moon in a spaceship made of egg cartons'

Medical Specialist- dealing with scrapes, bruises, grazes, cuts, scratches, puke, poo, fevers, snot, blood. A calm head is always required.

Chauffeur- School, Shops, Sport, Friends...be prepared to spend half your life in a car.

Governor of Chaos - Exceptional organisation skills. Able to do limitless things all at the same time. Be prepared to survive on minimal sleep and copious amounts of coffee and tea. Must be aware of the idiosyncrasies of each child and react accordingly.

So, there you have it. I may have left a few things out, but I think that will do for now.
Admittedly it may be a little difficult to fit this all onto a business card....I probably need a business brochure or a business essay to do the job.

But then I thought of the perfect job title.......one that fits all of my roles perfectly............

                             Carlene......

                 Mother to;

               Mr 11

                 Miss 8

                   Mr 5

                Miss 2

I think that suits me perfectly....don't you?

If you had to create your own business card, what would it say?

The Arrival....

Each Saturday is a day of joyful anticipation in our house.

The hours tick by slowly. The children plead and beg. They question and cajole. It probably should drive me completely batty....but it doesn't, because I feel it too.
It's an excitement almost as palpable as when the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus comes to visit. Though it's more important. Much, much more important.

Because Saturday's are when Mr 11 arrives at our house.

Early in the morning it will start....
'Is today Saturday?' Miss 8 and Mr 5 will ask. When I reply in the affirmative they jump around like a pair of Mexican jumping beans, so great is their excitement.
'When will he be here?' They demand.....'How long until he comes?' They question. Unfortunately I can never give them a straight answer because Hubby picks him on the way home from work and Hubby is never accurate with his time management......which is an entirely different post for another day.

So the countdown is on. They plan the games they will play when Mr 11 finally makes his appearance. They draw pictures for him, they plan his favourite dinner for that night.

Then, when he arrives, he is greeted at the door with shouts and laughter. The poor boy is smothered, hen-pecked, idolised. He is put on pedestal, the much loved and adored big brother.

Of course, the magic doesn't always last. Before long they will be fighting, bickering and whinging.....but for a few, short wonderful moments it's like a cheesy commercial of the 'perfect' family.

Yesterday was a cause for even greater excitement. Because yesterday was Mr 11's birthday. The presents were wrapped, homemade cards prepared, the cake was baked and his requested dinner was cooked. Hubby was (of course) late with picking him up.
But when he arrived home none of it mattered,the hours of waiting were forgotten, the magic lasted just a fraction longer.

Because yesterday was a special day, a day of celebration.

Happy Birthday Mr 11!

Meet My Monsters!

Mr Endearing Eleven -

Sensitive, Responsible, Super-Smart, Math-Whiz, Caring, Loving, Tidy, Insightful

Miss Enthusiastic Eight-

Busy, Silly, Excitable, Talkative, Book-Mad, Cuddly, Humorous, Messy, Joyful

Mr Funny Five-

Kind-Hearted, Snuggle-Bum, Funny, Grumpy, Organised, Sweet, Perceptive, Tender

Miss Tornado Two-

Mischievous, Cheeky, Lovely, Trouble, Sparky, Determined, Quick, Hilarious, Social