My Mumma Business Card.

Hubby often comes home with his pockets full of a plethora of business cards. I get to peruse these on a regular basis as I usually have to empty them out before they go through the wash and ruin yet another load of washing.

Most of these cards have fairly standard job descriptions; like Dental Surgeon or Solicitor or Plumber. Others are a little more interesting. For instance I recently came across one that said 'Sandwich Artist', there has also been a 'Brain Trainer' (read; Hypnotist) and also one that called themselves a 'Refuse Collection Operative'.....in other words a Garbage Collector.

So, it got me thinking (never a good thing as we all know) about what my job description would be. If I had to come up with a fancy pants business card what would I call myself?

I started with writing a list of all my individual 'jobs' and decided to go from there.

Administrator of Sympathy - eg; Kisses, Cuddles and Kind Words.

Director of Routine - Get up, make your bed, have breakfast, clean your teeth, get dressed, brush your hair..etc...etc.

Nutrition Management - Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and all those little snackies in between. Coercing children into eating their greens. Talent at hiding vegetables in pasta sauces. Creative-on your toes-meal artist.

Negotiator of Conflict - 'You've hurt your brother, now say sorry', 'I don't care who had it first', 'No you can't have a chocolate before dinner'

Hygiene Specialist-  'Stop picking your nose', 'Wash you hands after the loo', 'Dirt is not a food group', 'Letting the dog lick your face is disgusting!' Must be able to toilet train small people. Supervision in the bath is a must.

Dental Technician - Supervising the teeth cleaning process. Some members of the family simply like to lick the toothpaste off the toothbrush. Or if you're Miss 8, run the tap and make scrubbing noises without actually putting the toothbrush in your mouth (not realising Mum is watching from the doorway)

Hair Stylist - Gel spikes for the boys, ponytails and braids for the girls. Requires a certain amount of speed and dexterity.

Teacher - Homework, homework and a bit more homework. The joy of school children.

Psychic-  Able to read minds of children and predict what they will need/want next.

Domestic Engineer - I really don't need to explain this one...but I will. Mess...everywhere. Constant vacuuming, dusting, mopping, toilet cleaning (Ugh - boys and toilets...need I say more?) washing (wash, hang out, bring in, fold, put away) Scraping food off surfaces, dishes, making of beds, falling over toys....the list goes on and on.

Safety Expert - Jumping out of the bath onto the tiles is not safe (the cause of Mr 5's latest bump) nor is; scaling the screen door, riding a skateboard down our very steep driveway, pushing your little sister off Mum & Dad's bed, Wrestling on the coffee table, Eating dog food or throwing a matchbox car at your brothers head.

Imagination Stimulator - Creating ideas for games, providing paints, crayons, textas and paper. Encouraging the wacky, crazy and zany. 'Yes, let's pretend to fly to the moon in a spaceship made of egg cartons'

Medical Specialist- dealing with scrapes, bruises, grazes, cuts, scratches, puke, poo, fevers, snot, blood. A calm head is always required.

Chauffeur- School, Shops, Sport, Friends...be prepared to spend half your life in a car.

Governor of Chaos - Exceptional organisation skills. Able to do limitless things all at the same time. Be prepared to survive on minimal sleep and copious amounts of coffee and tea. Must be aware of the idiosyncrasies of each child and react accordingly.

So, there you have it. I may have left a few things out, but I think that will do for now.
Admittedly it may be a little difficult to fit this all onto a business card....I probably need a business brochure or a business essay to do the job.

But then I thought of the perfect job title.......one that fits all of my roles perfectly............

                             Carlene......

                 Mother to;

               Mr 11

                 Miss 8

                   Mr 5

                Miss 2

I think that suits me perfectly....don't you?

If you had to create your own business card, what would it say?

I'm Just a Girl......

Image from weheartit.com

This morning despite the usual rush and chaos that ensues on a typical Monday morning, I did manage to notice that once again my car tyre was looking despondently flat.

I say 'once again' because it's about the fourth time in the last week that Hubby has dragged out the compressor and pumped the damn thing up.

Now, I can hear quite clearly what you are thinking. What doesn't she get the thing fixed? Driving around with a flat tyre isn't the smartest thing in the world. Surely this girl has some semblance of common sense?

I was of course well aware of what needed to be done. But once again, I was doing what I always do when something needs fixing. I played my 'helpless female' card. The card I play way too often. The card I play when  I really don't want to know. Or I simply can't be bothered. Or I more commonly than not think "Hubby can do it'

Shameful isn't it?

'Darling' I coo, with a flutter of my eyelashes. 'Can you get my tyre fixed for me?'
'Sweetie' I breathe in my sultriest voice, 'Can you take the car down to get petrol?'
'Honey' I titter, with a girly flick of my hair 'Can you fix the clothes line/ washing machine/ Mr 5's remote control car...etc etc'

I avoid mowing the lawn. I escape from trips to the tip. If there is any 'grunt work' to be done I'll elegantly skip into the kitchen and bake some scones.

And, if it's something that really, really needs to be done and I really, really don't want to know I'll do something that I'm not entirely proud of. Something that works a treat every time.

I'll turn on the tears.

I have no excuse for being this way. None at all. I grew up in a completely feminist household. My Dad was the only male amongst my sisters, my Mother and I. My Mum taught us that we could do anything. She is and always has been the ultimate go getter. Diminutive, eloquent and very, very tough.

I was bought up learning all sorts of skills that I doubt girls that I was friends with would have learnt. One of my earliest memories was of slaughtering a 'pet' lamb to roast on the spit. My sisters and I were expected to help...and help we did. We thought nothing of it, it was part of life. Another was our before school job of checking the possum traps (in NZ they are considered a pest) and subsequently the 'disposal' of any captured possums we may have encountered.

Girls are tough. That was our childhood motto. A motto I seem to have forgotten lately. A motto that I need to rediscover and teach to my spirited and independent daughters.

Even my name means 'strong little woman'....it's about time I started living up to it.

A Month of Happiness

For the past month I have been participating in "The Happiness Project" over at the lovely "Seven Cherubs". It was a wonderful idea and one the filled me with optimism.

It was a simple enough brief, keep a diary for a month and record daily events that made me happy. Easy Peasy, or so I thought. I consider myself to be a perpetually happy person but for a couple of days there I was stumped (and I have to admit I occasionally forgot and had to write in the next day - Oops!)

Mostly though, nice things happened and keeping this diary was a joy.
Here it is in it's month long entirety;


10/4 - Was woken by a cuddle and sloppy kiss from Little Miss and a cup of tea (albeit cold) from Mr 10. A lovely way to start my day.
11/4 - At the doctors, but really pleased that they slotted me in straight away. Prognosis: tonsillitis, go home to tea & sympathy from Hubby (nice!)
12/4 - Slowly feeling better. Hubby goes into work later so he can drop the kids at school for me (Yay!) and then finishes early to pick them up (double Yay!)

Miss 8 brings me home a gorgeous "Get Well" card from school. I put it on the fridge with all my other special kiddie artwork.

13/4- Mr 4 had his first ever Easter Hat parade today, it was just adorable and I was so proud of my little man.

                                       

14/4- Last day of school for two weeks, no early mornings, no rushing around for lost socks, no dreaded school run....bliss.
15/4- A beautiful quiet day. Went for morning tea with friends, had muffins and tea. Lovely, just lovely.

16/4- Spent the day in the kitchen cooking up a storm with Miss 8, had a great time together. It is one of our favourite Mother/Daughter activities. Took photos of our creation to enter a competition.
17/4- Sunday. My favourite day of the week. The whole family was at home and I loved spending the day pottering around the garden and in my kitchen.
18/4- We won! The competition my daughter and I entered was drawn today and we won! A beautiful, brand new Scan pan set....Woo Hoo!

19/4- Rain, rain and more rain and that means one thing...hot chocolate and movies...Yaaay!
20/4- The sun is shining thank goodness as we are off to the park for a birthday party. Have a brilliant time, so much fun for adults and kids.
21/4- This is what me happy today.......

   Enough said.
22/4- My Sister's birthday today, so the whole family is together for Easter and her birthday celebrations. She was stoked with her pasta machine. I love it when I buy a gift that someone loves! Now, I hope she makes me some awesome pasta with it!
23/4- Easter Saturday, we have a beautiful Easter lunch and we all sit around chatting and enjoying ourselves while the kids find eggs hidden in my parent's garden.
24/4- Woke at 3am this morning to hear an excited little voice call out "The Easter Bunny was here!" very cute. Luckily the little early bird went back to sleep and we were all up together at 6am to stuff our faces with chocolate and then run around in a chocolate induced high all day.
25/4- I love public holidays, especially when Hubby gets a day off. Although we did work around the house it was a lovely day.
26/4- Illness has swept through the house and we are all suffering from the gastro bug. We have all taken turns in being sick over the past 24hours. Has completely skipped Mr 4 thank goodness. So that is what is making me happy today - Mr 4 is well although the rest of us are not.
27/4- Recovery mode. But all snuggled together on the couch and watched movies so that was lovely.

28/4- Back to school for Mr 4 and Mr 10 as they are both OK. Another day off for Miss 8 who is still feeling poorly. I'm feeling better and oh, so hungry. Chicken Pot Pies are on the menu and taste brilliant after two days of being sick.
29/4- Back to the school run. The kids are so happy to see their friends and I love being back at school helping the preps with their reading. They are all just so adorable.

30/4- Outside, watching the kids run and play. The sunshine warms my face and I feel great.
1/5- May! How quick is this year flying! My beautiful friend celebrates her 30th today and we have a BBQ in the park to celebrate.
2/5- Cold clear mornings are my one of my favourite things, so beautiful. So peaceful.
3/5- Coffee with friends, we chat, the kids play. I love having the freedom to do this sort of thing.
4/5- Today I make a cake for my daughter's 2nd birthday. It turns out beautifully and I am so pleased. I know she'll love it.
5/5- Georgie's birthday morning tea. We have a joyous morning. My little darling has a wonderful day.

                               

6/5- Mother's day morning tea at the school. Mr 4 and his class put on a gorgeous show and then serve us morning tea. It brings a tear to my eye and makes me wish that I could capture this moment forever.
7/5- Miss 8 plays her first ever hockey game and does so well. I am so proud I could just burst with it.
8/5- Mother's day. The kids are so excited about giving me their carefully chosen gifts from the Mother's day stall. I bask in their love and affection.
9/5- Today, I write. This simple act of expressing myself brings me happiness.
10/5- My daughter has her first ever Naplan test. She is sooo nervous. I tell her to just do her best and I will be proud of her. She hugs me and says "I know you will Mum' and off she goes. At that moment my heart is full of love for her.

A huge thank you to Naomi from Seven Cherubs for her inspirational idea. It was quite a challenging month and a whole lot of fun! xx

Not a private moment

When becoming a Mother one must survive several losses;

Loss of self,
Loss of libido,
Loss of brain cells,
Loss of pert bosoms.........

Needless to say loss of privacy comes up on the list as well. From the moment you produce your screaming infant to the world and the world gets a look at your .....um.... "privates" the word "privacy" becomes obsolete, invalid, bloody non-existent.
     After all and sundry get a gander at your boobies while attempting to breastfeed and everyone has asked elaborate questions about your birth experience, you may feel that you have nothing more to "share". Surely, now that you have produced said child some infinitesimal amount of privacy may creep back into your existence.

Sorry to burst your bubble but the opposite is true.

I sometimes feel as though I haven't had a private moment in the past 9 years.
My children follow me everywhere....from the loo.......to the shower........to the bedroom. They have no compunction about interrupting me at any time and place. They put no value on modesty or humility.
      Sometimes I find myself fervently wishing for a minute, or two of peace. Even when I'm sleeping they creep into bed with me, their little arms reach out for me and they snuggle into their Mother's embrace.

Who needs privacy?  Not me.