Getting Off My Lazy A***.

Must.Try.Harder.

Why, hello there....

Long time no see.....

As you have probably noticed, or not........ depending on whether you ever paid attention to my random ramblings of the past......I've been AWOL for quite some time.

You see, I seem to have been suffering from an ailment, and a serious one at that. I like to call it 'dodgy Internet access', but it can also be known as 'can't be arsed', 'bone-idle lazy' or even 'blog-overload'.

I love blogging, I really do, but for a while there it was TAKING OVER MY LIFE.

So, I had a holiday, a hiatus, a lovely bloggy vacation. Ideally I had planned to only have Christmas off, but that slipped into January, February and now March has reared it's head, all without a peep from me.

Once I had passed my self-imposed break it was really hard to get back into it. In fact, to be honest I didn't even check my page at all during this time. Truth be told I was too scared to have a look. A bit like a garden that has been overlooked, I expected it to be overgrown, ugly, unkempt.

    

Time to do some weeding?

 



But of course, it looked exactly the same. A little bit of love, some pretty words and pictures and I'm sure 'she'll' be up and shining again.



So, what have I been doing for the past four months?

Honestly, I haven't been as lazy as I'm making myself out to be. You see (I'm sure you've all forgotten so I'm going to remind you) I live with these creatures. Four of the buggers. They are small, cute and they smell funny. They are also messy, difficult, annoying and disruptive. I'm sure you've heard of them.....'children' is what they are called.

You can find a description of these little monsters in any dictionary.......

children; A person between birth and puberty

Although, personally I like my own definition better.....

children; small. They make mess, fight incessantly and eat you out of house and home. They speak a strange language that can be described as whinging or whining, sometimes interspersed with a little bit of demanding. These creatures are abundant in their displays of affection, adoration, love and humour.

These mini people have been keeping me incredibly busy, but secretly I have missed writing. I've missed sharing the craziness of my life with you all. Sometimes it's like taking a giant weight off my shoulders, like chatting to a long lost friend.

So, I'm officially back. I've missed everything and everyone, hopefully, this time I can do this all much better. xxxxxxxx

Dreaming....Aspiring.....Hoping.

I wrote my first story at the age of eight.
It was a lovely, whimsical tale of an adventure in a faraway land. A wicked witch needed to be defeated and a good friend, saved.

My story was loved by my teacher. I remember clearly my pride - mingled with fear - when he singled the story out as the new school play.

My enjoyment of writing was, from that moment on, firmly established. I wrote continually. When I wasn't writing I was reading. I inhaled words. One of my greatest loves, encouraged by my parents and that one supportive teacher, was in full flight.

Then, my hopes and dreams were dashed, destroyed, ruined. In high school I ended up with an English teacher who despised my style of writing. She picked at my work endlessly. My sentence structure was sloppy. My grammar, appalling. My story lines were weak. My humour, forced. Rather than help me to overcome these issues she simply piled on more criticism.

My confidence plummeted. My dreams of writing....of becoming a writer....were dashed.

Although I continued to write in private, I didn't have the bravery to show my work to anyone.

Until now.

I don't know whether it is because I've grown into myself. Whether Motherhood has shaped and changed me. Whether my confidence has grown thanks to the wonderful people in my life. What ever it is, I am no longer scared or ashamed to show my 'work' to others.

Admittedly, every time I go to hit the 'publish' button on a blog entry I have a little internal battle with myself.....
What if nobody likes it?
What if it's absolute crap?
What if everyone thinks I'm crazy?

But then, I hit that damn button anyway.
You know why? Because I love it.
I love writing. Crafting my words. putting them together to create some semblance of sense.

And I love that you read it.

Thank you.