I grip the steering wheel tightly, my knuckles white against the black leather, my fingers numb with the strain. My arms are extended straight out in front of me. Rigid and tense. I flex my fingers to try and release some pressure...it doesn't help. I feel angry and almost aggressive.
The noise inside the car is diabolical. Two children sit in the back arguing loudly. They shout, yell and scream at each other. Little fists are clenched. Tears flow freely.
The little one is struggling against her car seat. She wriggles and squirms. Short, chubby legs fly kick out with apparent frustration while she lets out a continuous high-pitched and piteous wail.
The eldest one ignores them all; I wish I could share in his detachment of the whole scene.
The scenery that flashes past on our journey is at a complete contrast to the chaotic scene within the car. The countryside is clean and vibrant with rolling hills and pretty houses dotted here and there. The sky is clear, cloudless and the brightest shade of blue. The day outside looks tranquil, peaceful. My mood is at odds with it.
As I finally pull into the school car park I am relieved but also immediately self conscious. I have had no time to take care with my appearance. My jeans are wrinkled, my jumper covered in fluff - the white showing clearly against the black. I push my messy blonde hair off my face, sunglasses will fulfil the purpose of taming my shaggy mop. My face is devoid of any make up. I secretly wish I had found the opportunity to put on a tiny slither of lipstick, maybe a flick of mascara.
I settle the children, the older ones march off to their respective classrooms. I deliver my Preppy to his teacher.
On the way back to the car I hold the littlest one by the hand. She chatters endlessly and I calmly listen to the rise and fall of her voice. We walk slowly and I finally feel myself start to relax. I breathe deeply and inhale the fresh country air - it is soothing and sweet. As I walk my shoulders loosen, the tension leaves my body.
I hum softly under my breath. Finally I feel at peace with the world.
I settle the children, the older ones march off to their respective classrooms. I deliver my Preppy to his teacher.
On the way back to the car I hold the littlest one by the hand. She chatters endlessly and I calmly listen to the rise and fall of her voice. We walk slowly and I finally feel myself start to relax. I breathe deeply and inhale the fresh country air - it is soothing and sweet. As I walk my shoulders loosen, the tension leaves my body.
I hum softly under my breath. Finally I feel at peace with the world.
